Expressing my emotions.

I needed to start this blog because I feel like it may help my emotions and hormones if I can have somewhere to release them. I would write in a journal but I feel like I would write the same page over and over until I felt like my handwriting was what I wanted it to look like. So, that leaves me with a blog.

Lately I have had some much going on. It started out in December when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I had so many emotions running through my body it wasn't funny. It was like every time I told someone I was pregnant, I started crying. Now I don't know if this was because I thought I was letting them down by not waiting longer or if it was because I was so excited and happy. Once I got past that phase, I moved into an informative state of mind. I searched for days what I could and could not do when I am pregnant. Needless to say, I stopped worrying so much when I went to the doctor in January and she told me the stuff I could and could not do or eat. What a relief. I love eating so when I found out I was pregnant, I was excited because I could eat whatever I wanted and there was no one that would judge me. All I have to say is: I AM PREGNANT. Isn't that wonderful? 

  

Yesterday was like any other Friday at work, but when I got home I just lost it. Let me just say we have two dogs, one (Boy - the black and white dog) is house trained and very good and the other one (Lola - the reverse brindle dog) is about three months old, gets into EVERYTHING and is not house trained. 

  Back to Friday. I came home and was welcomed by stepping in pee and poop on the living room floor. I cleaned it up, and sat down to open the mail. I started tallying the bills for the month of February, and that was depressing. Then I looked over and saw that now only did the puppy, Lola, chew up my only pair of black work shoes, she also chewed up a section of the mini blinds in the living room. That is when I lost it. I started to cry and cry and cry some more. I still don't know if it was the bills, Lola or the hormones that made me cry. Every time someone called me (my mom, dad and brother) I started crying again and I could not stop or help it. Later that night, I cooked dinner for my husband and watched television. My husband took a shower around 10:30, so I laid my head down on the chair. Next thing I know is that it is 4:30 in the morning, I am in bed with my dry sheets and blanket holding my phone and charger. I still have no idea how the sheets or my blanket got dried and put on the bed, how I ended up in the bedroom or how I had the most amazing sleep I’ve had in months. I swear that I had the same dream that lasted the entire time I was sleeping. What a day.

Today, I felt lazy and restless. I watched movies almost all day. I wasn’t as productive as I should have been but it is ok. People always ask me how I feel or if I have any cravings. To be honest, I feel fat, out of breath, and exhausted. I have had a few cravings but nothing out of the ordinary. For the past week I have been craving a Burger King Whopper and I finally stopped today and got one. It was so delicious. I have also been craving salads and vanilla ice cream with orange juice.

That is all I have to rant and rave about. I am sure I will be back very soon to rant and rave again.